One Of The Hardest Parenting Questions: Why Am I Different?
I am not writing this from a clinical standpoint. I am writing it, as a survivor of ‘feeling’ this. Why am I different?
Some parents are lucky enough to anticipate this question. When a child has a physical difference, for example. Its much tougher when the question comes from (in the parents mid) out of nowhere.
Let me state here and now, either way, the answer is the same. ‘YOU ARE LOVED!’
Character’s that create a connection…
I wrote a book called The Little Blue Flamingo, to help parents tackle this topic. It is clear that Flamingo’s are not normally blue. I choose to use an animal, and this unusual color to appeal to a wider variety of differences. Kids and parents today want books that “show” a child their exact circumstance, but I argue that a book that allows each child to empathize and ‘see’ themselves, has much more power.
Image a group of children hearing a book about a kid with a specific physical characteristic. A child with Down Syndrome and their families would love a book like that, it causes all the kids to now be more area that those kids are also just kids, great right?
When the story is done and the reader asks “What did this story teach you?”
A bunch of hands go up and the kids all tell about how they learned about this one thing, that particular disorder or condition.
Now image a group of kids hearing a story about a Blue Flamingo that wants to know why she is different. What question would the reader ask? How would the kids respond?
Well the reader could ask, “Have you every felt different? What made you feel different? Was it a physical difference or something else? Did you learn something from this story?’
Wow, so many more open ended questions. Some of those kids are going to answer the questions about the blue flamingo, but some…oh some are going to answer in surprising or not surprising, but much more personal ways.
Like: “I was adopted and I don’t look like the rest of my family, but like the blue flamingo, it doesn’t matter because they love me,” or “I have cancer and it made me lose all my hair, it makes me feel different, but everyone tells me that its okay, they still love me.”
Don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t know…
Privately a child might say to a parent, “I don’t have any friends, I must be different, why?” or “I have cancer, that makes me different, why me?” the examples can fill pages. What made you feel different?
The good news is, parents don’t need to have all the answers, but they need to love and encourage. That is what my book does. Helps show that while a parent or grown-up doesn’t know everything, they know that each child deserves love.
Flamingo Activities
Other books by Shannon L. Mokry
- The Little Pink Elephant
- Bubbles and the Berry Bush
- Bubbles and the Mermaid Adventure
- Escaping Gardenia – Chapter Book
- Saving Gardenia – Chapter Book
- Bubbles and the Big Race
- La Elefantita Rosadita -Spanish Book
- The Little Purple Porcupine
- The Little Yellow Llama
- Take a Walk on the Beach– Easy Reader amazon link
- Little Panda, What Do You See?
- The Sloth and the Snail
- The Little Donkey
- The Case of the Weird Tomato Bite– coauthor Beginning Chapter book
- The Mouse and the Little Pink Elephant
- How to Make a Book – homeschool edition
- Little Bee’s Day in the Garden
- Little Fox’s Day in the Snow
